A Primer for Conflict Management.
Then the men of Ephraim said to him, “What is this that you have done to us, not to call us when you went to fight against Midian?” And they accused him [Gideon] fiercely. And he [Gideon] said to them, “What have I done now in comparison with you? Is not the gleaning of the grapes of Ephraim better than the grape harvest of Abiezer? God has given into your hands the princes of Midian, Oreb and Zeeb. What have I been able to do in comparison with you?” Then their anger against him subsided when he said this (Jdgs 8:1-3).
The men of Ephraim were called to arms, and they crossed to Zaphon and said to Jephthah, “Why did you cross over to fight against the Ammonites and did not call us to go with you? We will burn your house over you with fire.” And Jephthah said to them, “I and my people had a great dispute with the Ammonites, and when I called you, you did not save me from their hand. And when I saw that you would not save me, I took my life in my hand and crossed over against the Ammonites, and the Lord gave them into my hand. Why then have you come up to me this day to fight against me?” Then Jephthah gathered all the men of Gilead and fought with Ephraim. And the men of Gilead struck Ephraim, because they said, “You are fugitives of Ephraim, you Gileadites, in the midst of Ephraim and Manasseh.” And the Gileadites captured the fords of the Jordan against the Ephraimites. And when any of the fugitives of Ephraim said, “Let me go over,” the men of Gilead said to him, “Are you an Ephraimite?” When he said, “No,” they said to him, “Then say Shibboleth,” and he said, “Sibboleth,” for he could not pronounce it right. Then they seized him and slaughtered him at the fords of the Jordan. At that time 42,000 of the Ephraimites fell (Jdgs 12:1-6).
The Ephraimites were cry babies. They were the diva Wide Receivers who complained after their team won but they didn’t get enough targets. They were upset that even though Israel won the battles, they didn’t get the glory. They loved the glory that came from man rather than the glory that came from God. This didn’t just happen once - they complained against Gideon, and then they complained against Jephthah. Gideon and Jephthah deal with the Ephraimites in completely different ways, and there’s wisdom to be found when we look at both stories.
Gideon puts his little kid gloves on. He says, “You guys have way more glory than I have! Yes, you didn’t get to fight the Midianites in the big battle. But you got something even better - you defeated the princes of Midian. You got the big catch while I got all the tiny fishies.” This is the soft approach in conflict management. It’s wise to start here. Gideon would have been right if he called them out and said, “I’m not taking any of this!” But he enacts Proverbs 15:1. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Dealing with difficult people is difficult, but sometimes we make it even more difficult when we become confrontational. Sometimes you can’t avoid being confrontational. In fact, often it’s necessary. It’s not good to avoid conflict. But Gideon teaches us to start with the soft answer first. It’s better to turn the other cheek. Jesus says, “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek…” (Matt 5:39). Getting slapped on the right cheek means they did it with the left hand, or they backhand slapped you with the right. Either way, it’s not a physical threat - it’s a dig at your honor. Gideon swallows his pride, and is able to restore the peace.
And then there’s Jephthah. Sometimes you can’t maintain the peace. Don’t be afraid of conflict. Start with a soft answer, but the hard answer comes next. The Ephraimites didn’t learn their lesson with Gideon. They’re upset again after not being called to fight, and Jephthah calls them out on their lies. He says, “I did call you! And you were unable to save me!” To make matters worse, they threatened to burn down Jephthah’s house with him in it. Jephthah responds with violence. He was justified in doing so. Self-defense is justified, despite what ethics professors at our seminaries may say. God uses Jephthah to bring judgment on faithless Ephraim.
Gideon and Jephthah are both mentioned in Hebrews’ great cloud of witnesses (Heb 11:32). What’s even more striking is that Ephraim (along with Dan, another faithless tribe in Judges) is omitted from Revelation’s cloud of witnesses (Rev 7:5-8). It means that God is the final judge. Sometimes we are called to confront. Other times, people get away with things and there’s nothing we can do about it. But God can and does something about it. One benefit to being a Christian is that all the injustices in the world don’t keep me up at night. Jesus Christ is coming soon. There is a Judgment Day, and God sits on that Judgment Throne. Everything will be laid bare, and God will right every wrong. Christians rejoice at God’s judgments (Ps 97:8).
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